Edmonton, the city we work and live in, is pretty down to earth, but in spite of that, there’s still enough people from my generation that succumb to vain acts of enticement. The worst kind I can think of is giving your children weird names. It’s bad enough when someone can’t seem to get enough attention for themselves, but it’s much worse when you make long lasting decisions that affect others motivated by that same compulsion. In the hopes of sparing a generation of children, I’d like to tell you why you should avoid naming your child Siri.

I get it, Apple is cool and you’re not, so you figure the best way to increase your profile is by leaching off of their expensive branding. Even if you can’t see the imprudence of that kind of decision for your child’s sake, let me explain why it’s a bad idea for your sake.

As a web designer with an education in computer science, cutting edge technology is often at my fingertips and so I’m fairly aware of what’s going on. As a marketing professional, I’m also clued-in to some of the decisions tech companies make when they’re releasing a product. In the case of Apple’s personal assistant, Siri, and others like her/it, it is voice activated. In order to make a feature like that viable, you’d have to come up with a verbal command that isn’t something that people would accidentally say. In the case of Siri, if you want to give her a voice command or ask her a question, you say, “Hey Siri.” This activates the feature and then you can issue verbal commands. If you name your child Siri, your tech and personal lives will converge in unexpected and unpleasant ways. Think about it, every time you address your child, a handful of iPhones will wake up and respond and start having conversations with each other.

Apple will have thought of this problem in order to make their feature viable and without conflict which is why they gave their voice activated feature a name that nobody would possibly have or consider using, so before you prove them wrong, take some time to reconsider your decision and get an Apple logo tattooed on your forehead instead. 

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